i cant believe i was ever intimidated by...

i cant believe i was ever intimidated by going to college.  the way i see it, it is just the same as high school. at least tri county is.  Clemson was a big difference, but obviously i had a reason to be intimidated there cuz look where i ended up!  i was looking forward to the "adult" experience but so far tri county seems as if im being treated as a high school student all over again. "you're late", "keep your head up", "put your phone away"...i could have SWORN we were paying for this education and the teachers are getting PAID to be here so why isnt it OUR decisions how we spend our time in the classes we paid for?? it may not always be the best choice of ours on what we do that day, but thats the whole point, WE have the power and option to decide for ourselves.  maybe thats why im not so motivated to give my 100% effort.  if i feel like im being treateed like a high school student then why not act like one right?  and what is up with the attendance policy?? if we're able to not go to a single class but still turn in our work and pass our exams that should be what is important. im sure im tallking to a wall on this one so ill be going so i can pack for the beach!!

im writing this blog but i should be...

im writing this blog but i should be catching up on my work!! im a little behind because of some family emergencies.  my cousin was pregnant and she was rushed to the hospital with some complications.  this had everyone worrying for her safety as well as the baby's.  ive been in the hospital for days now and man am i glad to finally be home.  She gave birth wednesday to a healthy baby girl.  we are all so excited and relieved for them.  now it just sucks that im goin to the beach this weekend and i have tons of work to finish up. but im a firm DISbeliever in the "all work, no play" motto!  id go crazy if i had nothing fun to get my mind off of how much i HATE doing homework. im mostly not looking forward to doing this stupid research paper for psychology! i absolutely do not like being told when i am to do something or be somewhere by anyone other than myself or my parents...looks like ill have to get through college to get rid of that reality!

In January, I was....

In January, i was probably doing a whole lot of nothing.  i dont think i was in school or working at the time.  Most likely i was over at my boyfriends house laying around.  we like to watch movies and take our dog for walks.  usually my family goes to the mountains every new years but we didnt go this past year. :( its a stretch for me to remember anything going back more than a week, so trying to remember what i was doing in january is nearly impossible.  obviously wasnt doing anything interesting or maybe id remember. this is my motivation to make next january a little more exciting for myself.  and im definetly telling the family that we ARE going to the mountains this year. i just love sitting out in the hot tub with snow all around and no one but the people i love around me! ill be sure to blog next year about how much better my january was!

Life takes some funny twists and turns....

yea life takes some funny and unexpected twists and turns.  one that really caught me off guard was when the guy ive been in love with for 7 years, and vice versa, got another girl pregnant!  we were each others first love and when i broke up with him he completely went crazy.  he started getting into some things he never would have and landed himself in jail.  he was there for two years and he wrote me multiple times while he was.  i wrote him back at first but as time went on the letters got few and far between.  i know i was breaking his heart but the abscence was hard to handle.  when he finally got out he immediately tried to contact me to rekindle what we had before.  by this time i had moved on with my life and wanted nothing to do with it. so two more years went by with him every once in a while trying to change my mind.  finally we happened to be in the same place at the same time and its like everything changed.  i was ready to give him another chance because i knew that i had loved him all along.  the thing is...after seven long years....i was FIVE months too late! his ex girlfriend was five months pregnant with his child.  he said he didnt want to be with her so we had our reunitement for about four months.  but then came the baby, and like i had prayed would not happen, he tried to make things work for his family.  i was devastated, but hey thats life, what you gonna do? cant dwell on things you gotta keep your head up and move on. as hard as it may be, thats what im doing. but i still wish the best for him and his baby and their family.

Sometimes I feel like a...

Sometimes i feel like a loner.  the transition from high school to college was a lot different than i had planned.  when i was in high school i knew practically everyone in my graduating class.  i knew a large number of people in the entire student body as well.  i was used to seeing these people eight hours a day and five days a week.  most of these people were also the same kids that had been in school with me since kindergarten.  When i went to clemson it was completely different.  Not only were the class sizes way bigger, but the students came from all over the world.  its strange going from chatting it up with your friends in class all day to being completely silent and just scanning the faces, trying to make sure they dont catch you!  Since i graduated two years ago it seems like i havent really hung out with or talked to any of the people that i used to surround myself with.  they've all moved away or started families and i feel as if im just stuck here in this same stupid town in this rut ive dug for myself.  it gets lonely, but hey, im a big girl and life gets better...right?